Ramble #1 / Kongsberg Miners T-Shirt Design

How can anyone possibly like this?

This is something I ask myself on a daily basis, every time I pick up my pen or other equipment used to create, well, anything. You can't please everyone, yet I constantly fear not being able to. Long story short, it always feels like I'm falling short... even when I've improved considerably from drawing like...

... this...? (from around 2018)

Either way, actual progress feels like forever, and if I didn't constantly experience burnout from feeling like I'm awful compared to everyone else, I probably would be much, much better than I am right now. I could go on an entire motivational speech about how you should just do what makes you happy and give little care about the harsh insults possibly cast from others - but the problem is that I'm still learning.

And honestly, no one can call me what I haven't already called myself.

"How do you become satisfied with anything?" I don't. I'm still figuring it out. Just try to breathe, because life isn't really that short unless you want it to be or some wicked unfortunate circumstance happens to you. Chances are you'll be here for a long time, and if that sounds absolutely, and unbearably grueling to you... You are not alone.

I'm not going to delve deep into my mental state, if at all. That shouldn't be the point of this silly website. In short:

Progress has and will happen - just do whatever you want as long as it's not illegal or messed up.

... Which is exactly what I have been doing.

I once was responsible for one t-shirt design for Kongsberg Miners, a basketball team in Norway. It's starting to be a couple of years ago, but recently I've been feeling a little self-conscious about it. You are constantly improving, and it's very likely you cringe at the sight of older things you have done. Actions, art, anything. Here is an example.

2022? 2023? I can't remember fully.

... It's fine, I guess. I was told that it was popular with younger children, and the smaller sizes sold out. I'm not complaining about any of that, in fact I'm joyous, it's just that this art could of been much better, which is why I am taking the helm for possibly having a new variant out. But have I perfected drawing a strange bull-like furry holding basketballs?

Absolutely not!

I could go all day in not being able to draw proportions or anatomy right. Or the fact I don't know every color combination or whatever. Luckily I have confidence that I know a bit more about such than what I did back when I first started years ago.

I'm glad I was given a chance (and possibly more than one) at doing these sorts of experiences though, it really is fun to learn and push yourself, even if it's stressful for me trying to follow expectations. Even if this new design never becomes real, I'm still grateful people were willing to hear me out.

The real world is cruel, but it's a good thing I'm stubborn. We just have to support each other a tiny bit more, because when the aliens come over to take over Earth as it is right now, we'd all be screwed.